At times it takes courage to be true to yourself, to live your best life and pursue happiness. How do you overcome the fears that cripple you and prevent you from having the things that seem to matter the most.... Pursuing your dreams, finding and embracing love into your life? How can you risk yourself again after a broken heart and trust in love again without courage? How do you start a new business from dreams without courage? How do you take the hopes and dreams and act on them? What happens internally inside your spirit to cause you to move beyond the fear and pain to action? To live and not simply exist......You have to take action at some point. For some it may be a bold, big step, a grand gesture, for most probably it is a series of small steps - a gradual process. And sadly, some people never take any action at all.
Frequently some of the steps the brave take will not lead to the desired goal and it will be necessary to turn in another direction but at least this is progress. If at first you don't succeed, at least you are trying. For only by trying can you ever hope to get anywhere, you have to be in the race to win it. And it is human nature to want to win, to get to where you ultimately want to be. That scared place in your dreams, your heart, your spirit. I believe it is not really fear of failure that hinders us but more often fear of success. Can you really handle the object of your goals, do you feel like you are worthy of them? So it may come down to a fear of beginning, because if you don't begin you won't have to deal with the result. It is so much easier to just imagine what it could be like or even to assume the worse. To make excuses, to hide behind your fear, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being hurt or disappointed.
So the real courage that may be required is not about achieving your goals but in starting to act on simply moving toward them. How much you want them plays a big part in your ability to move toward them, but more than anything else I think it is about faith, most of all faith in yourself.
Life is for living, not worrying or imagining what might be. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes, love and respect yourself, know you deserve it and take that first step. Then it becomes a matter of one foot in front of the other, allowing your dreams to come to you, embrace them and be grateful. Just do it!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Respect
Today I talked to a good friend, one who has seen me live through some really tough times emotionally in the course of the last decade and now her life is paralleling the course my own took a couple of years ago. Our conversation reminded me of how important respect is.
Someone asked me a few years ago (about the same time my own life and my relationship with the man I loved at the time was on a fast downward plunge) what the most important factor was in a marriage or relationship. After thinking about it for a few minutes I said respect. A few years ago I would have said communication, or trust. I have been aware of the fact that it takes more than love to make a relationship work for several years now. But communication was probably at the top of my list for many, many years and hence that is what I sought. But at that time I said respect and I still believe it.
Respect is a vital part of any successful relationship, with your parents, your children, your siblings, your boss, your employees and the one person you dedicate your heart and life to. Think about the old arranged marriages, these two people many times had never before laid eyes on each other until they were standing there becoming man and wife. B ut times were different and people were respectful not only to others but to commitments. So, because they treated each other with respect and they both were dedicated to the marriage in time they grew to love each other deeply.
When you have respect, you have a foundation from which you can create anything. If there is no respect, it is like rust, it can destroy a marriage, it will even cause resentment and begin to eat away the love. If someone respects you they will give a greater effort, go out of their way to do things for you. A boss appreciates a respectful employee, a child who respects their parents behaves better. Respect is vital. For me, it alone (if I had to chose one thing only) is vital for a successful relationship. But as important as it is for a relationship with anyone else. The first person you must respect is yourself. If you respect yourself and your character, your values, you will only do things that are for your ultimate well being. Things that improve your life. You will only associate with people who add to you, those who respect you. Respect for yourself will give you strength to cope with difficult challenges.
If there are people in your life who don't respect you and you tolerate it, you are not respecting yourself and not being true to yourself, all your other relationships and efforts will be affected. The feeling of having someones respect and knowing you earned it has a value that is beyond measurement. But the feeling of respecting yourself is priceless.
Sometimes as women I think we need to be reminded of our own self worth, there are so many demands on our time, our energy, our love. Always remember to honor yourself, you cannot love anyone else if you have depleted all you have, you must take the time to give something back to you. Make sure you have your self respect, it is one of the greatest possessions you will ever have! With it anything is possible!
Someone asked me a few years ago (about the same time my own life and my relationship with the man I loved at the time was on a fast downward plunge) what the most important factor was in a marriage or relationship. After thinking about it for a few minutes I said respect. A few years ago I would have said communication, or trust. I have been aware of the fact that it takes more than love to make a relationship work for several years now. But communication was probably at the top of my list for many, many years and hence that is what I sought. But at that time I said respect and I still believe it.
Respect is a vital part of any successful relationship, with your parents, your children, your siblings, your boss, your employees and the one person you dedicate your heart and life to. Think about the old arranged marriages, these two people many times had never before laid eyes on each other until they were standing there becoming man and wife. B ut times were different and people were respectful not only to others but to commitments. So, because they treated each other with respect and they both were dedicated to the marriage in time they grew to love each other deeply.
When you have respect, you have a foundation from which you can create anything. If there is no respect, it is like rust, it can destroy a marriage, it will even cause resentment and begin to eat away the love. If someone respects you they will give a greater effort, go out of their way to do things for you. A boss appreciates a respectful employee, a child who respects their parents behaves better. Respect is vital. For me, it alone (if I had to chose one thing only) is vital for a successful relationship. But as important as it is for a relationship with anyone else. The first person you must respect is yourself. If you respect yourself and your character, your values, you will only do things that are for your ultimate well being. Things that improve your life. You will only associate with people who add to you, those who respect you. Respect for yourself will give you strength to cope with difficult challenges.
If there are people in your life who don't respect you and you tolerate it, you are not respecting yourself and not being true to yourself, all your other relationships and efforts will be affected. The feeling of having someones respect and knowing you earned it has a value that is beyond measurement. But the feeling of respecting yourself is priceless.
Sometimes as women I think we need to be reminded of our own self worth, there are so many demands on our time, our energy, our love. Always remember to honor yourself, you cannot love anyone else if you have depleted all you have, you must take the time to give something back to you. Make sure you have your self respect, it is one of the greatest possessions you will ever have! With it anything is possible!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Love
As the song says love is a wonderful thing. For the first time in my 40 something years, I am experiencing love as it should be. Actually I don't think too many people get to have this and keep it in their lives. It is such a gift. I have been in love many times and actually loved more men than I care to admit. But this time IS different because of many things I know, like loving the right person and loving myself and being true to myself. But this wonderful man has inspired feelings in me I wasn't even aware of. I respect him and it automaticaly generated a feeling of always wanting to honor him in every possible way. Big ways to small ways. The man that he is and his character just caused this feeling of respect to emerge before I knew it was there. It controls everytihing I do. I have always tried to live my life with integrity and tried to follow the golden rule of treating others as I wanted to be treated as much as humanly possible and as I have matured and grown as a person, it has gotten easier but I know I will never stop growing and trying to improve. Because this is my belief I focused on being my best but the feelings I have for him makes my goal to be the best even more pronouced. I have been told since I met this man, there is a glow about me and I know it is not that infatuation, floating on air sort of feeling..... It is something much, much deeper, It comes from deep inside my spirit. This feeling of respect is not even about love - it is entirely seperate. It is a great feeling to have along with the love but it is so peaceful and easy. Another thing that tells me how truly blessed I am to have it. Because it is a once in a lifetime feeling, despite many years of searching and several attempts to create it......... One day I simply believed in the concept I have always believed in (once in a lifetime love and subsquent happy life together) and I was open to the possibilities and there he was. Life is divine!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
A New Year...
It is the beginning of a new year. My son asked me what my resolution was going to be and I replied I don't have resolutions. But then I realized I do, each day I resolve to be my personal best and to live every moment. To me that means feeling every moment (good or bad) and accepting it for it's place or impact on my life and being grateful for all the moments that make up my life. Recently at a staff meeting where I was trying to create a more team spirit rather than talk to my staff about working as a team and being considerate of each other, I dedided instead to ask them all to give us there personal best, because if you are living your personal best everyone around you benefits, most of all you. You are happier, most compassionate, more loving and peaceful. This is my resolution, not for the new year but for each new day.
Be your personal best, live every minute and be grateful and your spirit will be filled with joy!
Happy New Year
Be your personal best, live every minute and be grateful and your spirit will be filled with joy!
Happy New Year
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