Respect

Today I talked to a good friend, one who has seen me live through some really tough times emotionally in the course of the last decade and now her life is paralleling the course my own took a couple of years ago. Our conversation reminded me of how important respect is.

Someone asked me a few years ago (about the same time my own life and my relationship with the man I loved at the time was on a fast downward plunge) what the most important factor was in a marriage or relationship. After thinking about it for a few minutes I said respect. A few years ago I would have said communication, or trust. I have been aware of the fact that it takes more than love to make a relationship work for several years now. But communication was probably at the top of my list for many, many years and hence that is what I sought. But at that time I said respect and I still believe it.

Respect is a vital part of any successful relationship, with your parents, your children, your siblings, your boss, your employees and the one person you dedicate your heart and life to. Think about the old arranged marriages, these two people many times had never before laid eyes on each other until they were standing there becoming man and wife. B ut times were different and people were respectful not only to others but to commitments. So, because they treated each other with respect and they both were dedicated to the marriage in time they grew to love each other deeply.

When you have respect, you have a foundation from which you can create anything. If there is no respect, it is like rust, it can destroy a marriage, it will even cause resentment and begin to eat away the love. If someone respects you they will give a greater effort, go out of their way to do things for you. A boss appreciates a respectful employee, a child who respects their parents behaves better. Respect is vital. For me, it alone (if I had to chose one thing only) is vital for a successful relationship. But as important as it is for a relationship with anyone else. The first person you must respect is yourself. If you respect yourself and your character, your values, you will only do things that are for your ultimate well being. Things that improve your life. You will only associate with people who add to you, those who respect you. Respect for yourself will give you strength to cope with difficult challenges.

If there are people in your life who don't respect you and you tolerate it, you are not respecting yourself and not being true to yourself, all your other relationships and efforts will be affected. The feeling of having someones respect and knowing you earned it has a value that is beyond measurement. But the feeling of respecting yourself is priceless.

Sometimes as women I think we need to be reminded of our own self worth, there are so many demands on our time, our energy, our love. Always remember to honor yourself, you cannot love anyone else if you have depleted all you have, you must take the time to give something back to you. Make sure you have your self respect, it is one of the greatest possessions you will ever have! With it anything is possible!